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Adventures with Antonio
Intentional Family Living | by Elizabeth di Grazia
Antonio is not yet 2, already I'm worried about holding him back, not that I think
he'll let me. I just don't know if I'll be attuned to his fast-paced changing needs,
the strengths he'll yearn to develop, and the challenges he'll create for himself.
This is far different from when I first met him in Guatemala. He was eight months
old and I wondered what was wrong with him. "He's always moving," I said
to my partner, Jody. "He never stops. Is something wrong with him?"
After arriving home, we had him seen by numerous practitioners: U of M International
Adoption Clinic, his pediatrician, an energy worker, and a cranial sacral specialist.
Finally, after our fourth appointment, and our fourth assurance that he was OK, we
relaxed.
I must have grown comfortable with his constant movement, because it doesn't bother
me anymore; it couldn't be that he has slowed down.
Cleaning the eaves the other morning, I climbed down the ladder to retrieve a plastic
bag from the porch to put the wet leaves in. When I returned, Antonio had his left
foot on the roof.
Generally what he attempts doesn't scare me: I encourage his proclivity. This caused
me to gasp. Not wanting to startle him, I said, "Good job, Antonio, good job.
You're quite the climber. Why don't you come down now?"
This appeared to confuse him; his feet were becoming tangled in the uprights. Then
it looked as if he was moving to climb higher.
"Antonio bud, you're so brave. If you need help coming down, I'll come up."
I said all of this from the porch, because I didn't want to make any quick movements,
causing him to panic. It flashed through my mind to dash into the house for the camera,
and snap a picture to show Jody when she came home from work. A moment later, it
occurred to me, that this wouldn't be a responsible parent action even if the picture
turned out great.
"OK, I'm coming up...here I come...here I am," I said, grabbing him around
the waist, then carrying him to the ground.
Later that summer, we tramped in the dog park at Fort Snelling State Park. I like
to go there with Antonio and his sister, Crystel, who is six weeks younger, letting
them practice their climbing and balancing techniques on downed trees. The workout
they get is equal to any gym or gymnastics club they could belong to. We return home
sandy, wet and dirty, because I allow them to feel the sand between their toes and
stand in the river while holding my hand. We watch the boats go by, the dogs swimming,
and jump waves.
I tell the kids that they have to have good ears and if they stop listening that
we'll return to the stroller. Their listening declines; as their bravery increases
with the swells, and we depart the river under protest. My technique is to get them
interested in something else so they forget the direction of the river.
Antonio was interested in walking a trail that was less defined, less straight, narrow,
and up a hill. I didn't want to go because it would be more work, more mosquitoes
and why couldn't he be happy with the wide, well-used trail everyone uses? Still,
it would keep us away from the river and...why not?
Leaving our stroller, I said, "Come on, Crystel, we're following Antonio. He's
taking us on an adventure."
Antonio leaned his body forward, pitched his way up the hill, clawing the ground
for balance. I saw that this path was different than any other we had ever taken
and why he might have chosen it.
"Antonio, don't throw rocks at your sister. Yes, that's a big rock. You're very
strong. You can set the rock down or toss it to the side of the trail. No, don't
throw it at the dog (our Bichon/Cocker) either."
Antonio reached the crest of the hill. At the top, I showed him and Crystel how far
we'd come, then chose an easier way down.
Returning to the stroller, I wasn't sure what it did for Antonio to be the chooser
of the path we took. I noticed that I felt considerably lighter, more joyful and
happy.
I'm interested to see which path he'll take next time...his sister and I will follow.
Elizabeth di Grazia has published short work in a number of periodicals, including
The Phoenix and Rockhurst Review. An excerpt from her memoir, House of Fire was published
this fall in Beginnings. Elizabeth and her partner, Jody, are the mothers of like-twins,
born July and September 2002. Elizabeth can be reached at edigrazia@msn.com
Copyright
© 2005 Elizabeth di Grazia. All rights reserved. |
| February 2005 |
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