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Astrological compatibility
Inside Astrology | by Bill Herbst
In my professional practice as an astrologer, I conduct sessions with numerous clients
who are seeking intimate partners. Lack of a significant other or, more frequently,
dissatisfaction with an existing intimate relationship, are both among the top reasons
people consult astrologers. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but it's certainly
true.
These clients sometimes ask me, "Which signs am I compatible with?" The
question is a code, of course, meaning: "Tell me the Sun signs of people that
might make good partners for me, because I'm not having any luck at all on my own
finding someone who doesn't drive me completely bonkers."
I usually gently fend off questions about "sign compatibility," explaining
to my clients that the issue of compatibility in relationships is extremely complicated,
ever-changing and far beyond the abilities of astrology or any other system to nail
down in simple terms of good-or-bad.
If, however, I were to go ahead and respond to my client's question about compatible
signs by speaking in the simplistic language of popular astrology, I might say, "OK,
you're a Cancer, so you need to find a passionate Scorpio or a gentle Pisces, because
those are compatible water signs. In lieu of those, you would do fine with a Virgo
or Taurus. However, you should avoid like the plague all Aries, Librans, and Capricorns."
By analogy, I might as well have said to my client, "OK, you're an American,
so go out and find yourself a passionate Italian or a gentle Norwegian. In lieu of
those, you would do fine with a Canadian or Chinese. However, you should avoid like
the plague all Russians, Brazilians, or Swedes."
That would be not only silly, but also insulting to whole nationalities of people.
The study of intimate attraction is a fascinating part of the astrology I practice
with clients, but -- like everything else in serious astrology -- it provokes deeper
thoughtfulness rather than easy solutions. That's one of the main reasons that popular
astrology is so, well, POPULAR, because it offers the illusion of easy answers. Unfortunately,
those answers are likely to be irrelevant, and more often wrong than right.
The broad generalizations of pop astrology do not translate well to human beings.
When we read in some astrology column that Gemini is "compatible" with
Aquarius, that's a specific reference to the mathematical harmony between zodiacal
signs of the same element (in this case, air), because they are "in trine,"
meaning one-third of the circle from each other. As part of the technical system
of astrology, that statement -- Gemini is compatible with Aquarius -- is correct
insofar as it refers to the abstractions of the symbols.
The problem lies in the subtext, the implied shift from signs to people. If you were
born with the Sun in Gemini, does that mean that you are "compatible" with
potential partners born with the Sun in Aquarius? Not necessarily. While Sun Signs
do reveal the inner core of our experience of reality, they indicate precious little
about who we are as complete, multi-faceted personalities.
Technical astrology does indeed have many ways to assess the potential of any two
people in relatedness, but these techniques require whole charts to begin with, and
even then they're not straightforward in saying yea or nay to being with someone.
Birth charts are like X-ray diagrams of the basic structure of our individual personhood,
revealing how our particular bio-psychic machinery is hard-wired. The matrix of "what's-connected-to-what"
is extremely complicated, involving literally thousands of connections, not just
two (the Sun and its sign). So to assert that people are compatible or not based
only on their Sun signs is bogus. It omits so much more than it includes.
For instance, how do the limits and fears of their respective Saturns affect these
two individual's charts? Does Plutonian obsession enter into the relationship? Is
their sharing fantasy-based through Neptune? Are their Mars and Venus pairings connected
or not? Do their Mercuries allow effective communication? How might the timing of
their active cycles modify the unfolding of the relationship? These and many other
relevant questions need to be investigated before we can arrive at an overview of
the astrological potential of a given relationship.
Then, beyond astrology, the question of compatibility involves myriad other factors,
including family systems imprints, acculturation, past relationships, and more superficial,
image-based attractions or repulsions.
So don't be fooled by simplistic astrological notions of compatibility. Intimacy,
romance and marriage are neither straightforward nor simple. Serious astrology can
help alert us to good or bad choices among the people to whom we are drawn, but even
the best information and advice cannot overcome our obsessions and compulsions. Human
beings in the thrall of romantic love are notoriously stubborn about ignoring obvious
warning signals.
Finally, the universe sells no insurance that even the most auspicious intimate relationships
will endure or succeed in the turbulent crucible of real life. We have to pay attention
to all the signs in our relationships, not just the astrological ones.
Bill Herbst is a Minneapolis astrologer who has done more than 10,000 sessions
with clients over three decades in private practice. He is associate editor for the
well-known journal The Mountain Astrologer, as well as a frequent contributor to
that magazine. Go to Bill's website at www.billherbst.com for further information
about his work.
Copyright © 2004 by Bill Herbst. All rights reserved. |
| Dec 2004 |
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