| In Search of Faith... By Marilyn Tokach Second of a three-part series Editor's note: This is a continuation of A Time for Faith, which appeared in the June 2004 edition of The EDGE. See the link on the index for Part 1 My beloved German Shepherd died just shy of her 13th birthday. In mourning her loss, I spoke to an animal communicator who told me that Gretta would come back to me. At the time, the idea of reincarnation was something I was just opening up to, but I didn't really want to invite more heartbreak into my life by getting another dog. The thought of reuniting with Gretta only to outlive her once again was unbearable. For six months after Gretta died, I was adamant I would not get another dog. After another few months, I decided that another dog might be OK, but not another German Shepherd. Eventually, of course, I found myself searching for another German Shepherd. I talked to a lot of breeders and met a lot of dogs. I searched shelters and rescues, but none of them had the dog I was looking for -- a big German Shepherd with a broad chest, dark features and huge paws. After expressing my disappointment in not finding the dog I was looking for, a friend pointed out to me that I was looking for Gretta. It wasn't intentional, but in my heart I knew he was right. I gave up looking for the "one" and put a deposit down on a puppy that would be available in August. As soon as I relinquished control in trying to find the just the right dog, a shift occurred. To my surprise, a local breeder whom I'd met only twice called to let me know that she was importing two female German Shepherd Dogs from Germany. She was keeping one and would I like the other? I went to look at them. By now, I was learning to trust that all things happen for a reason. When I met them I KNEW one of these puppies was Gretta's spirit, but I didn't know how to tell which one. I decided to get the bigger one, because Gretta had been a big dog in her previous life. My heart fell when the breeder told me that they were keeping the big one. It was Divine intervention that I brought home the smaller one, I later had several communicators confirm that she was indeed Gretta's spirit in a new body. When an animal comes back to us, they come with a new body and a new purpose. It's important not to expect them to be the same dog they were before. My little, eight-week-old puppy named herself Faith. It was the only name she would respond to. And looking back, I realized she told me her name was Faith in so many ways. Carpe diem would have also been a fitting name for the intrepid Faith. I'll never forget the time just after I got her that she jumped right in the lake and started to swim, or how she would go bounding off to explore and play. Faith was diagnosed with renal failure hours before I was supposed to leave to be the maid of honor in my sister's wedding. Plane ticket in hand, I stood in the exam room at the University of Minnesota Small Animal Hospital calling my sister to tell her I wasn't going to make it to her wedding. I couldn't leave Faith to die in the hospital and she wasn't ready to go yet. My sister, a registered nurse in a labor-and-delivery unit in Colorado, was understandably disappointed and wonderfully supportive. She checked the med dosages against the puppy's weight, finding that they were being administered the same way as they would be for a human baby with similar issues. She explained in layman's terms what the veterinarians were trying to accomplish with Faith. Over the course of the weekend, she called five or six times to help determine how I could keep Faith comfortable. With Faith at home, I followed the care regimen outlined by the vets at the U of M Vet hospital, sought advice from holistic veterinarians, prayed and cried. August 14, 2000, was the day my puppy, Faith, died. It also was the day my faith was reborn.... This time, I understood her passing wasn't "The End." I was sad, of course. It's never easy to lose a friend no matter how long you have known them. But I now had a strong belief that the spirit goes on and can indeed return in whatever form it chooses. I wasn't surprised when I felt Faith "walk across my bed" that night after she passed away. I knew Faith would be back. After much grieving, I was able to look back at her time with me and I was honored by the sacrifice Faith made for me. She taught me about trust, love and confidence. And fearlessness, hospice, holistic care, kidney failure, family and death. There were a lot of lessons in her six weeks with me. It was no accident that Faith became ill exactly on the weekend I would have to deal with family dynamics at my sister's wedding. Despite all of my psychological, emotional and healing progress around formative familial issues, I didn't have the spiritual strength to be part of the family interactions and deal with old cycles while being my authentic self. Yet, from a safe distance, I was able to experience an unusual connection to my family through the very emotional events of a wedding and a death. In the hospice I provided for Faith, I summoned the strength to administer injections and subcutaneous fluids, as directed by my veterinarian. I learned about renal failure, alternative care options and the benefits of coordinating Western medicine and holistic vet care. Most importantly, I discovered that I wanted to work with companion animals. It is always intriguing to consider the circle of life and the events that occur and how interrelated everything truly is. My father was removed from life support after a 100 percent fatal diagnosis of renal and liver failure three years and five months to the day after Faith was euthanized. Without the understanding of this disease and the death process of Faith's passing, I don't know that I would have been as prepared and confident in my own faith during the my father's crossing. I was able to be supportive for my family as we made the decision to end Dad's life. It's ironic that the dog that once kept me from joining my family brought me closer to them during this time of crisis. Faith's return to Earth was all too brief in this incarnation, and yet the lessons she brought me changed my life. If we look globally at the events in our lives, we see that every thing we do has impact, not only on ourselves, but also on those around us. Our actions are intertwined and there is certainly truth to the adage, "What goes around comes around." There is also benefit to each party in each interaction, although, we may not be aware of the wholeness in a given moment in time. This story reflects my growth and lessons I learned form Faith. However, I have no doubt that she too experienced her own lessons. It is Faith's next incarnation that teaches me patience, while she pursues her own lessons. Find out more in the concluding segment of this story in the September issue of The Edge. Marilyn Tokach is an Animal Communicator, trainer and behaviorist and a certified energy practitioner. She will be teaching animal communication classes in Kansas City and at several locations in Wisconsin and Minnesota. Marilyn is available for phone consultations and private training lessons. For more information e-mail marilyn@Pure-Spirit.com or phone at (952) 226-2622. Copyright © 2004 Marilyn Tokach |
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