| The Effectiveness of Quiet
in Communication by Deborah Hill We have words for almost everything. We think that the more finely tuned the language, the better the communication; but this is not necessarily true. There are times to be quiet -- times when the message of silence is the most effective communication. I'm not suggesting that you need to "shut up" or keep your mouth shut when the situation is difficult. That is merely stifling your emotion. Instead, there is a place of peace and quiet within where you will find the will to be quiet when there is chaos around you. And from this place you will understand and communicate more effectively. Some people act as warriors when they're upset about something. In some cases we are told to tell others what we think, even if it's unpleasant information. We often feel justified in telling others what is on our minds because we feel that we have the right to speak, as well as the ability to change the world and others in it. We face the world with a verbal sword; however, a lance is often not the proper tool for communication. There is another way to face the world -- one where we are in our power and grace, and are able to stand strong amid the chaos. We are blessed with the ability to be quiet if we go "within" to a place of deep awareness. When we do this, we reach a haven of understanding and peace that can radiate through us and to others. If we get in touch with this place, we are equipped to handle the world on a different level. It's difficult to remain peaceful when others around us are screaming -- especially if we rely merely on our verbal communication skills. Mere verbal skills don't prepare us for the stress we feel at work, for instance. Perhaps we are responsible for a project and our employees or coworkers act inappropriately and we must talk to them. Or maybe our boss or coworker treats us unfairly and we feel the need to respond. When these situations, or others like them come up, there is a tendency to become very stressed and agitated. Communication becomes difficult when we try to express ourselves or avoid expressing our frustration. Remaining quiet and peaceful can be very difficult. Peace and quiet seems illusive when dealing with antagonistic people. We feel ourselves igniting when someone tailgates us or honks while we're driving. We look around us and see anger, inefficiency, and laziness -- or so it seems. How can we maintain a peaceful existence in this world of chaos? We can't if we merely attempt to adjust our demeanor to the outside world. The peace must radiate from within. When you find a place of peace, it radiates out from within, and from here you can create peace around you. Can you remember when you were a child playing on a swing or in the water -- a time when you were totally free in the moment? There was no thought of stress or intention to create peace in the world. You were just happy to be playing -- happy to feel the wind on your face or the water on your body. The movement of the swing or the water carried you, and you relaxed in the flow of the motion. Others around you felt this joy and were affected by it. Being in a state of internal peace feels similar to this. You do not resist the wind and the waves -- the mean co-worker or the honking driver. You go with the flow, you move with it and you enjoy the ride of life. Instead of feeling anger, you may remain objective and neutral, and remain quiet. Your joy is undisturbed and radiates to others around you who are affected by it. This feeling of peace and joy from within is infectious. This all sounds wonderful and inspiring, but you might question how to get to this place and remain there. You must take time to be quiet in order to find this place. The world around you is full of distractions and chaos, joy and thunder. It's difficult to center and focus on the peace within when you're caught up in it. If you want to find the place of quiet within, you must create some time to sit and feel it. You have to go there every day, and remember who and what you are. Sit and find a place of tranquility that is you -- the place of peace amid the storm. While sitting quietly allow the mind to wander, but do not follow the thoughts. Notice the tension and stress, but do not get attach to it. It might take time and practice to ignore the mind and the distractions of the world, but once you find it, you enter the true Garden of Eden. Here is where the truth lies. It is a place of peace that has no limits of time and space. You exist in this place as a non-dimensional entity that is not affected by the chaos of the world. When you find this place, sit with it. Be quiet. Sit in this place every day for at least 15 minutes. Allow the peace to grow and empower you. During stressful or confusing times you might need to spend more time sitting quietly. When you sit in this place of knowing and tranquility, you create time in the world. You relax and the parts of you that are unproductive begin to unravel. You are more able to cope effectively with chaos when you return to your activities because you are grounded and centered in this place within. You become more productive in the world and get more done in less time. You will notice that when you attempt to tell others about this feeling, you are no longer in it. It turns into dust as you become enmeshed in the mind's process of describing it. The peace from within is lost when you attempt to share it verbally with others. This type of peace cannot be shared through words or intention. It is present when you feel it, and it is felt by others at that time. When you reside in this place, you begin to help others with your presence. It is not something that you intend to do; it is just a result of who you are. Whenever you talk to someone who is angry, remain in your quiet place of peace. By doing this you will radiate a calming energy towards that person. You may change the energy of the situation by allowing the other person to pick up on your peaceful demeanor. Again, you are not attempting to change the situation or the other person. You are merely remaining within the shelter and state of grace known as inner peace. From this place you will find that you are often quiet. You realize the ineffectiveness of speech at this time and are able to disengage from the chaos around you. Or, you may speak from this place of quiet and the words will be tremendously effective. Inner peace is quiet. Except for an occasional laugh, it needs nothing but to be as it is. Peace is not an active process of change. It supports a feeling of tranquility and knowing that all is as it should be. From here you are in touch with the part of the universe that vibrates at that level of awareness. You see the chaos around you objectively and are not as affected by it, and you won't feel the responsibility to change it. You create the space for peace to happen. When you are vibrating with the awareness of peace and tranquility, you are in a state of grace that blesses everything around you. There are many excuses for not taking the time to sit and find the place of peace within. You're too tired or overworked. There's too much to do, or there isn't enough work and you have to create it. You have to help someone else, or worry about him or her. You need some food, or rest, or shelter, or a new piece of clothing. The world is full of reasons why you don't have the time to be peaceful. It is not on the agenda. "I'll sit quietly later," you say. Or, "Why should I take the time to just sit and remember the peace within? I have too much to do. I won't feel peaceful if I don't finish that job." But you will. You will feel peace no matter what happens. If you take just a few minutes each day to sit and be quiet -- to feel the inner peace -- you will create peace around you. And, you'll finish the job more efficiently. Projects will get done more quickly, and they will be more effective. Your work will go more smoothly. The kids will cry less, or they won't bother you as much when they do. You will have more energy because you are not wasting it on anger or other unproductive emotions. True communication and effectiveness within life begins at the place of inner quiet. Find it, and you and the world around you will thrive. Deborah Hill, R.N., C.N.M., M.S.N., is an intuitive coach, business intuitive, speaker, teacher and artist and author of "The Writings of the Masters: Enlightening Lessons for Everyday Life." Deborah also distributes her line of spiritual greeting cards and prints. Learn more about her work and see her artwork at www.writingsofthemasters.com Copyright © 2004 Deborah Hill |
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Aug 2004 |
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