| A message on forgiveness by Thomas William Harding I have been on a self-healing and soul-searching mission for many years. Last month, I was thinking about my latest health issue, edema, which is water that is retained in the body, usually in the legs due to gravity. I was thinking about what that is, the retaining of water or fluid. Retaining means to "Hold in," so I wanted to know what I was holding in. As I thought about this, I realized I had not done everything I could to forgive. To forgive is to "Give up resentment against or the desire to punish." In response to these thoughts, I decided it was important to write out what I thought I needed to give up. The letter that follows is about my own personal life, but much of it pertains to things we can all relate to. This is my Forgiveness Letter: Allow me to humble my ego and sit quietly with you. We are all in this together. I need you and you need me. We are joined in Spirit and love is the glue. I cannot hold something against you without it being held against me, too. If I am to love myself, I am to love you. If I am to love you, I am to love myself. We sit here in confusion and arms crossed in stubbornness. My heart breaks at our separation but my mind refuses redemption. You say what you will do, not do or won't say anything at all, I forgive you for this. When you have run me over as you speed through your life, I forgive you for this. When I felt I needed you and you felt I didn't, I forgive you for this. When you wore the blinders to block your fear of crossing the bridge leaving me out of sight, I understand, and forgive you for this. When night came and demons danced around my bed, but I feared calling out to you for help, because you really didn't believe me, I forgive you for this. When you beat me up and put me down, just because you hated me, I forgive you for this. When you cut at me about my spoiled-ness and you hurt me to hurt the one you wanted most, I forgive you for this. When you joined the troops to march yourself free of the pain, living as if you had no one looking up to you, I forgive you for this. When you laughed at my stupid brain and verbal blunders, snickering loudly behind me, I forgive you for this. When you saw me, wanted to help me, but got too busy, I forgive you for this. When you choose to worship a jealous and self-centered god, I forgive you for this. When you tell me to behave, when I was behaving, out of fear of your own damnation, I forgive you for this. When you walk into my sunny day with your dark clouds and rain your problems down on me, I forgive you for this. When you tell me you love me and ask me to worship you, yet let me suffer till I hate you, I forgive you for this. When I over looked my best and was self-damning, I forgive me for this. When I decided to dance with the demons and drowned in the poison, I forgive me for this. When I throw everything good aside to throw up my life, I forgive me for this. I love you and you and you. Be with me as friend and lover. Hearts in joy with each other. Play and sit and feel our peace. I forgive all that I remember and all that I have forgotten. And please, feel free to forgive me, too. I did what I did out of fear of you. Thomas William Harding is a Personal Trainer, Sport Yoga Instructor, Health Counselor and the owner/creator of www.thehealthcounselor.com Copyright © 2004 Thomas William Harding |
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Jan 2004 |
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