| Mastering Creative Change: Enlist
Allies by Rosanne Bane Second of a seven-part excerpt of Rosanne Bane's book-in-progress Creative Change: How to Effectively Move Your Inspirations from Dream to Reality. The second step of the Creative Change Process is to enlist allies. Unless you already have all the encouragement, insight, assistance, and emotional and financial support you need, you need to enroll allies. Like many writers, Sarah Tieck, novelist, creative writing teacher and associate editor of Minnesota Monthly, relies on a critique group to give her the kind of feedback she needs to polish her fiction. But she also acknowledges the contributions of her non-writing friends. "I've been telling one friend about my stories for years. When I told her I was struggling with a question about one of my characters, she started cataloguing all these things I'd told her about him. I hadn't thought of her as an ally until then. I was surprised she had heard me so well." Unexpected support As Tieck attests, allies often show up in unexpected places and give you unexpected support. When I was enrolled in a speaker's training program, I made a limited offer for free creativity coaching to my fellow apprentices. I gave something of value to my compatriots and they then knew a little bit more about me. One of the people to take me up on my offer talked about how much the coaching had helped her writing to her speaking agent, Holly. After Holly and I exchanged e-mails about my editing rates and policies, she asked me to give her a "half hour's worth of editing." I opened the attached file and started to work. But I got a little distracted by how interesting the content was. Holly was offering marketing services for speakers that I really wanted someone to provide for me. I thought Holly's concept was so good and so deserving of success, that I spent several hours giving the pages the best editorial tweaking I could. What non-editors often don't realize is how long it can take to do a good job. I sent the revised copy back to Holly with the admission that I'd spent far more time than she requested. I suggested that she either pay for the half hour she'd hired me for or that we trade services. Holly was more than happy to barter. The point of this story is that sometimes it's much more effective to have someone else do something for you. I was happy to edit Holly's copy -- it was easy and interesting work for me. But it had been drudgery for Holly. And Holly is happy making marketing calls for me. It's easy and interesting for her, but it borders on torture for me. So everyone wins. And it's not just that I get back what I give and Holly gets back what she gives; we both feel that we receive more than we give. Synergy, where the sum of the whole is more than the sum of the parts, is powerful incentive to find effective allies. Diversity of support Allies aren't just the people who sit in your corner and cheer you on, although those are good allies to have. Allies provide all kinds of support and service. Some of the support is paid for, some is mutually exchanged, and some is apparently gratis. Even this unconditional support that our friends and family give us has a spiritual and energetic mutuality. Kathy Kuhl of Kuhl Thinking, a promotional marketing company, discovered the benefits of having allies when she became a freelancer doing creative work she loves. Instead of being a lone voice crying in the wilderness, Kuhl is part of a newly formed consortium of freelancers providing related services that share contacts and resources so that they all can offer a broader range of services to clients. Kuhl also found that her allies prepared her for the realities of being a freelancer. "I'd meet one woman who'd already gone through the change of becoming a freelancer on a regular basis for coffee. It was good to hear her perspective on how she got started, what pitfalls she went through and what to expect." A group of powerful, trustworthy allies can make the difference between your desired change happening or languishing. Allies bring new information and insight. They bring new perspectives and possibilities. They add their skills and resources to the mix. Their excitement and enthusiasm help you maintain your commitment. Yet many of us have difficulty getting the support we need. We don't know who to ask, how to ask or what to ask for. Sometimes we're afraid to ask. Why ask for help? In a brainstorming session, my students and I came up with a whole list of reasons we resist asking for help: If I ask for help, I'll lose control, I'll look like I don't know what I'm doing, I'll be obligated to help the other person in the future and I might not want to be available then. I'll be judged or dismissed. I'll create expectations I'm not sure I can live up to. Any of those ring true for you? It's a good idea to identify the most significant sources of your resistance to asking for help. Then return to the Urgency Statement you prepared in Step 1 to remind yourself why it's important to make this change now. For each resistance, list reasons and ways to overcome it. Accept the fact that you can't make change happen all by yourself. If you could do it easily, without help, you would have done it already. As one of my mentors, Luis Cordoba, once said, "If you were meant to do it alone, you'd have your own planet." Change is necessary, and this 7-Step Process makes it simpler, but it's rarely easy. That's why you need allies. And why you need to keep returning to your Urgency Statement to remind yourself why you are willing to make the effort. One of the most helpful things your allies can do is remind you why you're doing it and encourage you to keep going. Who to ask Chapter 7 of my book Dancing in the Dragon's Den explores this in greater depth than we have space for here. In brief, you want to identify people who are committed to making changes for the sake of their creativity and personal growth. They are potential allies. People who are not committed to their own journey cannot support you on yours. They may want to help you, they may say they will help you, but they can't. You can't give what you don't have. People who aren't willing to endure the discomfort of change for the sake of their own growth won't understand what you're experiencing. They may even encourage you to quit in an unconscious attempt to justify their own lack of commitment. They aren't your enemies, but they aren't your allies. Practice discernment with them. Don't talk too much about your change commitment and don't expect them to help. If they do, it's an unexpected bonus. Once you've identified people who are committed to their own change process, consider which of them might be willing to support yours and which you're willing to support in turn. Some allies will be your friends and family. Some might be people you meet in classes, clubs, associations, networking groups. Some might be people you hire as a coach, advisor or counselor. You'll want a lot of allies with different perspectives and skills. What to ask for and how First, clarify the different kinds of help you might need: encouragement, accountability, information, resources, help with specific tasks, etc. You don't know yet exactly what the whole process will require and that's okay. But do consider what you might need and who among your potential allies is best suited to give you different kinds of support. Tell a potential ally about the change you're committed to and why it's important for you to take action now. Explain how you'd like this person to support you and ask if he or she is willing to do that. Negotiate how you can be of service to each other. For example, I've asked my friend Julie to read chapters of my novel and tell me what she likes about the story. She's not a writer, so I'm not asking her to give me critiques. What I most need from her now is open-hearted encouragement, and she's agreed that that is something she wants to give me. Naturally, I encourage Julie in her creative projects and give her feedback on materials she's developing for her new business. The more specific you and your ally can be, the better. Set dates for when you'll check in about specific tasks. Talk about when and how you'll communicate. Do you want an encouraging email once a week? Do you want to meet in person or talk on the phone? After you've negotiated the details of how you'll support each other, put it in writing and sign it as a spiritual contract of your intent. At the same time, allow the relationship to evolve as you move through the rest of the creative change process. The whole reason for involving allies so early in the process is because they'll help you figure out what your next steps are as you continue your journey. And like any trip, change is more enjoyable when you have traveling companions. Rosanne Bane, M.A., is a Creativity Coach and author of Dancing in the Dragon's Den: Rekindling the Creative Fire in Your Shadow. She has been teaching creativity for more than 14 years. For more information about her coaching, creativity classes, Change Master workshops and presentations on creativity and change, visit RosanneBane.com or call (612) 722-4139. Copyright © 2003 Rosanne Bane, All Rights Reserved. |
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