| An Exploration by Fiona Lennox I cannot see God ... ...That is what I had been saying for a long time prior to my 8 days with four-gifted women completing graduate work on inter-dimensional bodywork and explorations of consciousness. Never being visual, I questioned my ability "to do" the bodywork and almost did not make it to start of class, 9 a.m. one hot Sunday in July. In contrast, most of the group took to the material as easy as opening a gift. CJ telepathed to a Huge Angel ribboning luminous energy down for a client, while she stood on a chair. "Don't you go and fry me now!" Just like CJ, always saying exactly what she thought. Self-describing herself as "An acupuncture needle for the planet". Secretly I appreciated the thought of being fried by an Angel of Light, I would finally have SEEN. It would all have been worth it. No more daydreamed about the feasibility of a face-to-face chat with a guide or other consciousness some day. But nothing, not even a fading Duracell® flicker. Jackie had an entire entourage enter the room when she opened it up. I envisioned beings of consciousness edging up to one another with bags of super consciousness popcorn and soda to support and participate during her sessions. MY God consciousness had to have me take off my shoes at a burning bush, for me to acknowledge it. Until that day, I would wait. So now, I judged myself a sham, in no way qualified, to serve in the work I was being trained, expecting a glimpse of The Divine before the end of the 8 days for validation, but nothing had caught alight so far. As visual after visual poured from the recollections of the group, I sat struck dumb with heartache, unable to share my practitioner experiences, I had no words to understand "no seeing" other than, I was not getting it. On the first day, during an initiation meditation, Madame Blavatsky's name dropped, seemingly out of nowhere. It gnawed at me until I read, "H.P.B. The Extraordinary Life and Influence of Helena Blavatsky" by Sylvia Cranston. Her 19th century miracles enthralled me. That was I, a novice waiting for a converting glimpse of The Divine. The book continued; I became bored with the writings relentless quest to prove H.P.B. a genuine mystic. Later in her life, H.P.B. stopped the "manifestations" disillusioned with their ability to simply amaze and entertain. Spectator events, failing to reach their full spiritual intent. What I concept I thought, being privy to and yet unaffected by incredible shows of Divine reality. What were those people thinking? Looked at across time, Christ, Buddha, Krishna and more have all come and gone, yet the world seems to continue to make choices that do not reflect the magnitude of their being here, even while they were alive. These past masters and my recent retreat with the, very alive, Ammachi pushed the subject deeper. Was Ammachi a modern day master? If so, she had not moved me to become a devotee. If I had lived at the time of Buddha, would I have followed his teaching? The assumption we never challenge is that Others put Christ on the cross and Others walk away from the call of spiritual masters in their time. That would never be our response. But can you be so confident that "seeing is believing", what is it you expect to see and how would it have the power to alter your life through the simple sensory input of sight? No awakening comes too slowly or too fast. A teacher of mine once said that if we received great illumination before being ready to hold it, it would dissipate. The masters that live lives in human form, come not to save us through fan fare, but to show us how to recognize The Divine. The depth of their teaching goes beyond the messenger, reaching within each of us to the extent we can receive it. Where the masters are taking us in the 21st century is a growing realization of The Divine within. God is closer than your nose I have heard from Buddhists. The experience of The Divine is your experience of your own divinity and connection. You cannot see it and believe it until you can see and believe your part in it. We may or may not see many wonderful things in our time; the mistake would be to place the value and validation of our spiritual nature on the glimpses or lack of them. All experiences of The Divine are in of themselves (no matter how awe inspiring) lost over time if they do not fulfill their true task. That is to direct us back to The Divine. A www.Mapquestforenlightenment.com (fiction), to follow to our true divine selves, which is God. So how did the 8 days go? Tough. Glimpses of The Divine were everywhere, waiting for me to experience through every one of my 5 senses and then some new ones school had been remiss about teaching. Now I hear we have over 70 senses. Kinesthetically I felt my body give birth to a vision. In high states of presence, the space around the bodywork table was palpable. In many cases when I could let go of how I thought to experience something the real experience was right there underlying all the mental expectations. The Divine is so vast that our mental constructs are empty of its experience, not because The Divine is absent but because the arena in which we allow it to emerge is too small. Glimpse the Divine but follow the signpost. Keep going. Be The Divine. It is closer than your nose. Fiona Lennox, originally from South Africa, now makes her home in Minneapolis serving dogs, people and organizations through teaching, counseling and consulting. She can be contacted at (612) 285-9046 or Flennox@msn.com. Copyright (c) 2002 Fiona Lennox |
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