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Moments Well-known authors and speakers in the fields of spirituality and healing share their personal experiences with the profound. by Phil Bolsta ECHO BODINE Echo Bodine, a psychic, spiritual healer, ghostbuster and author, teaches classes and workshops throughout the country and has recently co-produced a television pilot about psychics and psychic phenomena that she and her brother Michael will co-host. Her fifth and most recent book is, "A Still Small Voice: A Psychic's Guide to Awakening Intuition." When I was a sophomore in college, I found out I was pregnant. When my boyfriend and I talked about getting married, my inner voice very adamantly said, "No!" But I pretended I didn't hear it and kept on trying to make this really difficult situation more workable for me, my boyfriend and our families. Our premarital counselor said that, even though we were both young, we could probably make it work. But all along, my intuition kept saying, "No, no, no, this is not the way to go." And deep down, I knew I had to listen to it. So even though I wanted to get married and keep my baby, I said no to my boyfriend. It was very hard to explain to everyone that I was saying no, because that's what felt right to me. It made sense to my mom, who's the one who taught me how to live by my intuition, but it didn't make sense to my boyfriend or anybody else. In 1968, it was uncool to be 19 and an unwed mother, so I went off to California and we told everybody I had transferred to a different college. All throughout the pregnancy, whenever I would rebel and think, "I'm going to keep this baby," my intuition kept saying, "No, you're not." And I would get the word "adoption" every time. Even though I had made arrangements with an adoption agency, in the back of my mind I kept thinking that when it came right down to it, I was going to take my baby home with me. Sometimes, out of desperation, I thought, "Maybe the day my son is born, my intuition will tell me, 'OK, now you can keep him.' " My son was born on a gloomy day in San Francisco. I've never lived a harder day in my life. I laid in my hospital bed crying and pleading with my intuition: "Can I please, please bring my baby home?" But it very clearly said, "No. Adoption." My boyfriend was still suggesting that we get married and raise our baby and I had a strong desire and a strong will to do that, too. My parents had told me they would support me if I kept my baby, and the family friends I was living with in San Francisco even came up to my hospital room and asked me to let them raise my son. Yet, in spite of everything the world was saying, my inner voice was telling me to trust the guidance I was getting and that it would all work out some day. I knew I had to trust it, but it was the most difficult thing I ever had to do. I cried, "Please, God, you have to talk to me, you have to tell me how this is going to turn out if I place him for adoption." But all I heard was, "It's going to be OK." I knew I couldn't hold him. I knew that if I did, my will would take over. The last time they wheeled me to the nursery window to see him, the candy striper innocently said, "Oh, did you get your baby's pictures?" I remember thinking, "Oh, my God, will somebody please get me out of here! I can't stand this kind of pain!" In all the years since, there were many, many moments when I wondered if I should have kept my baby instead of listening to my intuition, especially since I never had any more children after that. And yet my inner voice would always say, "It will be okay. Someday, it will be OK." Today, I'm very thankful that I can say it did, indeed, turn out OK and that both his father and I no longer have any doubt that I did the right thing. In my new book, A Still Small Voice, I write about finding my son 25 years later. He was raised in a wonderful family and we now have a wonderful relationship. I also still get along very well with his biological father. In fact, in September, the two of us went to our son's wedding. Our intuition doesn't tell us why it's telling us what to do. It just gives us a direction, which is why it's so hard to follow it. We humans want the path laid out for us. We want to see it clearly, and then we'll make our decision. But that's not how it works. It's really about surrendering to God and to do what we came here to do, even though we don't know at the time where our path is leading us. I really struggled whether or not to share such a personal story, but then I realized that if someone reading this is faced with a difficult situation and their inner voice is guiding them to do something that makes no sense to them, maybe my story will speak to them and tell them, "Follow it anyway." ***** TOM GEGAX Tom Gegax, the co-founder and chairman emeritus of Tires Plus, the largest independent tire store chain in the country, was named Retail Entrepreneur of the Year by Inc. Magazine in 1995. His book, "Winning in the Game of Life," distills the lessons of work life and home life into an integrated plan to help you identify your guiding mission in life and develop a strategy to achieve your goals. In 1989, I thought my life was working pretty well. Then, within a six-month period, I was diagnosed with cancer, I ended my 25-year marriage, and my chief financial officer came into my office and said, "Tom, the bank account is a million dollars short and our credit line is exhausted. What are we going to do?" So just like that, the three major areas of my life -- my health, my love relationship and my finances/career -- were in shambles. And I was hit with the stark reality that not only had my life not been working, but that I had played a major role in causing it all to come tumbling down. That was when I began seeking a different way of being in the world. I knew I had to remake myself and create mutually fulfilling relationships in all areas of my life in order to be truly happy. Three years later, I took a meditative trip to the Greek islands with the express purpose of getting more in touch with myself, something I wasn't able to do as well amid the busyness of everyday life. I had heard the Greeks had the worst phone system in the world, so I decided to go there for a little retreat. I did a little sightseeing, but most of my time was spent meditating day and night in my room. There was no schedule for when I would eat or sleep. I just wanted to get lost in not thinking and just being. Remember in the movie Cocoon, when two people were across the pool from each other but were having virtual orgasmic, bliss-like experiences? That's how I felt. I was able to get in trance-like states that were just incredible, just sitting there meditating, not thinking about any of life's challenges, just feeling a deep sense of connection with everything. It was a unique state of feeling grounded yet being at one with the universe. I had meditated before but had never got in nearly as deep a state. One night after a particular blissful meditative day, I woke up in the middle of the night and, next to me on the pillow, I saw a bright glowing treasure chest. Now, I was wide awake and this chest was absolutely factual; it was definitely not a figment of my imagination. I was staring at it for 10-15 seconds, and finally I thought, "I've gotta try to touch this thing." As my hand got to it, it slowly dissipated until it was gone. I got right up and wrote it all down, just in case I would try to fool myself the next morning into thinking it hadn't happen. The meaning of it was very clear to me, that if you take more time to meditate and go within, the treasures are immense. For another week, until I flew back home, everything seemed so bright and magical. It was like I was living in a fantasy land. Everything was so heightened and powerful, and I was experiencing life to a greater degree than I ever had before. I'd love to say, yeah, I visit that space all the time, but even though I've gone on a few more retreats since then, I have not been able to duplicate that experience...yet. Phil Bolsta is a certified massage therapist. To make an appointment, contact him at (763) 553-7703 or at PhilBolsta@attbi.com Copyright 2002 Phil Bolsta |
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