He Who Laughs, Lasts by Bernie Siegel Love and laughter are what we need to build our lives. For me, love makes up the bricks with which we build. Ask yourself what you are capable of loving and you will know what your life is about. But what holds that life and the bricks together? We need mortar -- and the mortar of life is humor. For me this represents childlike humor that isn't offensive and doesn't hurt or upset anyone. Humor of this type heals lives. One of the things that convinced me of the value of humor occurred one evening when my wife and I were out lecturing. My wife Bobbie does stand up one-liner comedy as part of the presentation so people can feel the benefit of laughter, not just hear a lecture about it. On this particular evening, I did not take her seat in the audience, as I usually do, because of the set up of the stage. So I sat behind her and watched the audience. The change in their physical appearance after laughing for 15-20 minutes was striking and made me a firm believer in the benefits of humor. Two of her lines are, "He who laughs, lasts" and "Laughter is contagious -- be a carrier." I agree. On a personal level, what I mean by childlike humor is about seeing the world through a child's eyes. If you see a sign, Wet Floor, go ahead and do it. On airlines, I would come out of the lavatory looking worried and say, "I may have damaged the plane." Attendants would come over and I'd say, "I dropped something from Italy in the toilet and then I saw the sign, "Don't throw foreign objects in the toilet." Well, now all the planes have signs that say, "Don't throw solid objects in the toilet." Many years ago, I fell off our roof when a ladder I was climbing broke. I announced to the audience I was talking to that I must have an angel because I landed on my feet, which seemed physically impossible considering the angle of the ladder. A man came up at the end of me talk and said, "You do have an angel and I know his name." "I said how do you know?" "What did you say when the ladder broke?" "I said, 'Oh Shit!' " He said, "That's your angels name." I laughed, but didn't realize what a gift he gave me. Now whenever I get into difficult situations and blurt out, "Oh Shit," I start laughing because I know help is on the way. Feel free to make use of my angel when you are in need. One other example of childlike behavior is in the instructions you either read or hear from people. When it says sign in, write the word "in." When it says print your name, print, "Your Name." When the sign says, "Nobody allowed here," go on in and tell them you're a nobody when they shout at you. Most of the time they let you go, knowing you are no danger. One guard said, "I'm making you somebody and you have to leave now." Another child appears and I gave him a hug. Dr. Bernard S. Siegel, who prefers to be called Bernie, not Dr. Siegel, attended Colgate University and Cornell University Medical College. He is a pediatric and general surgeon in New Haven, Conn. In 1978, Bernie started Exceptional Cancer Patients, a specific form of individual and group therapy utilizing patients' dreams, drawings and images. His first book, Love, Medicine and Miracles, was published in 1986. He is now involved in humanizing medical education and making the medical profession aware of the mind/body connection. Copyright © 2002 Bernie Siegel, M.D. |
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